Have you ever wanted to “have the bejeesus scared out of you” by “home-made tat”?
Then a disgruntled husband from Shefford has the perfect piece of wall art for you, after posting his wife’s painting on eBay.
The man has listed the creation as “Useless piece of art”, with the description “Home-made tat”.
Bids of 1p are invited.
The items description reads: “Let’s be honest, unless you’re some kind of hippy funkster with a love of surreal ‘Day of the Dead’ Spanish chic artwork, this probably isn’t for you. You’d be better off saving your pennies and buying a motorbike, or other such fun stuff.
“My wife painted this after a particularly lengthy absinthe session, complemented by over indulging on a potent Haribo and sherbert mix at 3am.
“It’s a wonder she hasn’t cut her ear off as she’s on the comedown, but, she does love her sunglasses so to do that would be pretty counter productive.
“This thing would make some cheesey wall art in a frat house, or some nouveau chic modernistic/contemporary wall hanging in a rich person’s gaff. Either way, I’m neither of those and I just want rid of it. It gives me the heeby-geebies when I’m eating my breakfast.”
This is the second time that the seller, known as ‘frost.bite23’, has tried to shift the item on eBay.
Interested buyers are asked to collect the item from Shefford.
He adds: “It’s about 6’x3’ and can come apart for easier movement. It’s too big too move quickly and/ or quietly otherwise I’d keep it to put in the kids bedroom to scare the bejeesus out of them, more’s the pity.
“If you want to ask any questions, feel free. Please, no positive comments on how amazing this thing is, my wife has a big enough ego as it is and there’d be no living with her.
See the item here.
>Were you the artist of this piece of art, or are you her husband? Email firstname.lastname@example.org